


i could sing a billion songs; (but you're my favorite melody)

by explaininfinity



Series: how rare and beautiful it is; (to even exist) [1]
Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F, chaelisa if you squint really hard, happy valentine's day y'all!, hope you enjoy!, i love my parents!, if jensoo breathed any time in the not-too-distant future that'd be neat, this is way less angsty than the other one so... yeah!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 15:44:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17790188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explaininfinity/pseuds/explaininfinity
Summary: in which jennie kim sings her favorite song to her favorite girl and her favorite girl kinda panics.a lot.aka the jensoo future (disb*ndment)!au





	i could sing a billion songs; (but you're my favorite melody)

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this listening to rosie's cover of 'eyes closed' and jennie's cover of 'can't take my eyes off of you' so, you should check those out 
> 
> also their voices are gorgeous so stream eyes closed anyways :)

 

_you're just too good to be true_

_i can't take my eyes off you_

 

 

a yg practice room, mid june, 2017

 

 

soft applause echoed throughout the small practice room as jennie finished the umpteenth run-through of her solo stage for their upcoming japan tour. to say she was nervous would be an incredible understatement. that's why she stayed at the yg building rehearsing until far too late at night while her members had gone home, _or so she thought_. she didn't bother to look up and see who the laughter was coming from- _she knew_ -choosing instead to sprawl dramatically across the floor. the giggles that resulted from her actions were all too familiar to jennie's ears. she could recognize that sound anywhere, rain or shine, blind or paralyzed.

 

sure enough, there was jisoo standing over her, as smiley as ever when jennie opened her eyes. the giggles never subsided as jisoo offered jennie a hand, one that jennie gladly accepted before pulling jisoo back onto the ground with her.

 

"hey, you jerk!" jisoo called from jennie's shoulder where she had landed. jennie was soon laughing too as jisoo sat up, her hair falling in a disastrous mess on the top of her head. jisoo just smiled, refusing to fix it until jennie caved, sitting up as well to re-part her hair.

 

"how was my performance?" jennie questioned softly as she started putting jisoo's hair back in its normal place. jisoo ignored the question for a moment, choosing instead to gaze at jennie, who was intently focusing on her hair, her nose scrunched in concentration. it was obvious from the beads of sweat across her forehead that jennie had just finished one of _far too many_ run-throughs, although the glow that emulated from her seemed more angelic than exhausted. jennie looked up from her hair, her eyes aligning with jisoo's lingering gaze that drilled into her as if she was searching for the answer that jennie needed.

 

"perfect." it easily slid off jisoo's tongue so easily, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, as if it was her natural, instinctual answer.

 

_maybe it was._

jennie just giggled, shyly elbowing jisoo in the side.

 

"you're just saying that because you have as my best friend."

 

_my best friend._

 

**_ouch._ **

 

it's not like jennie'd never said it before. in fact, at some point in their absolutely confusing mess of a relationship, jennie had developed a habit of somehow repeatedly managing to bring up their decisively unromantic status. at first, jisoo had thought it was because she was coming on too strong, that somehow jennie had figured out her crush and was subtly albeit kindly rejecting her. but then jennie would find a flimsy excuse to sit in jisoo's lap or randomly place a quick kiss on her nose and jisoo would ignore logic all over again until jennie said _best friend_ . several years of kisses pressed on cheeks and behind ears and on shoulders and hands and pretty much anywhere _but_ lips later, jisoo gave up. she gave up on trying to figure out if jennie knew about her feelings or not, gave up on trying to pretend that she didn't have feelings for her.

 

jisoo, of course, hadn't explicitly _told_ jennie about them per se (the only person who officially knew was chaeyoung, and that was only because that girl was far too perceptive for her own good) but they fell into a rhythm. a comfortable existence of hugs that lasted far too long and gazes that lasted even longer.

 

well, " _comfortable_ " being a debatable term because kim jisoo was kind of dying. a lot. (inside) (hopefully)

 

because as much as their " _comfortable existence_ " became the new norm, it also became jisoo's own personal hell.

 

because in this " _comfortable existence_ ",  jennie would place kisses on her cheeks and on the tip of her nose, centimeters off of where jisoo wanted one. mere centimeters prevented jisoo from having everything she'd wanted since she had first stepped into a yg practice room.

 

<<<

 

she had initially met jennie on her first time at the yg building. that day, she was supposed to have been walked into a conference room where her contract would be settled. emphasis on _supposed to have been_ because the girl who that was her guide had abandoned her as soon as they walked through the lobby. so there jisoo was, lost and confused, standing alone in a foreign building. she had wandered into a practice room with several girls in it who all turned as soon as she cautiously stepped in. most of them were stretching in a small group, apart from two girls. the taller and blonder of the two was sitting on the floor near the feet of a brunette with two-toned hair, who was leaning carelessly against one of the walls of the room. she was the only one who hadn't looked up when jisoo had entered the room, choosing instead to continue staring aimlessly at her phone with earbuds in. she looked chic and intimidating, and like the exact kind of person that jisoo had been nervous about meeting at yg.

 

"umm, are you lost?" one of the girls on the floor had asked. jisoo had blushed heavily at that, she remembered but had mustered enough courage to respond.

 

"yeah, actually. i'm supposed to be in the conference room?" the girls in the room had laughed at that causing her to blush even harder.

 

" _the_ conference room? you do realize that this is the _yg_ building right? there are like, a dozen or so conference rooms on this floor alone," the same girl had asked, after the girls had quieted down, causing a new eruption of giggles throughout the room.

 

"she's obviously a new trainee so she'd clearly be in the second-floor west-wing conference room for a contract meeting," called a voice, ending the laughs throughout the room. everyone's eyes had moved to where the two-toned-hair girl had obviously taken out her earbuds, leaning away from the wall. her tone had been sharp and provoking as if she was taunting the girl that had teased jisoo. the girl in question had also stood up and had taken a step towards the girl with the two-toned hair.

 

"if you're so invested in helping the newbie jennie, why don't _you_ show her around?" it was a clear challenge and jisoo had felt like disappearing, even moving back to stand in the doorway. the girl called jennie, on the other hand, had taken several slow steps forward until she was only an inch from the face of the girl that had taunted both her and jisoo now.

 

"just because you're so obviously nervous that she's prettier than you (which she is by the way)-" jennie had mocked, while sending a blinding smile and a charming wink jisoo's way, making her blush. "and likely more talented than you-" jennie had twisted a strand the other girl's hair, much to the annoyance of her and the amusement of the other girls in the room. "and maybe even a better singer than you-"  jennie strolled in a circle around her, clearly eyeing her up and down and tutting. "doesn't mean you have to be jealous of her," jennie concluded, finishing by standing in front of her and patting the other girl's head condescendingly. at this point, the girl had practically had stream pouring from her ears but smiled humorlessly before sitting back down. jennie had grinned as the other girls in the room had applauded, causing her to curtsy sarcastically before walking over to the doorway where jisoo was still blushing.

 

"lisa's in charge, don't burn anything down," she had called before grabbing jisoo's waist and leading her out of the room. as soon they were out of sight though, jennie had immediately paused in the hallway, removing her hand and profusely apologizing or the actions of the other girl.

 

jisoo had fallen for jennie in that moment. she had fallen for the way jennie had defended her even though they hadn't even met yet. she had fallen for wink that she had sent her way, for the dangerous look in her eyes when she was challenged and the smirk that came after she knew she had won. she fell for the soft smile jennie had given her in that moment after they had exited the practice room, the cute way her cheeks puffed out and the way she blushed when jisoo had thanked her. she fell for the shy way jennie had grabbed her hand again, directing her to where the staircase was and how she had stayed, even sitting through as much of jisoo's meeting as she could before having to go back to her dance practice (although not before complaining heavily).

 

jisoo had fallen, and fallen hard.

 

and even years later, she never, _really_ , got up.

 

she was still enticed by the gaze jennie had when performing, so much so that she'd sometimes forget to monitor herself during performances, subconsciously choosing to focus all of her attention of the woman she always seemed to be focusing on anyways. her heart still melted every time jennie would lace their fingers together and her skin would still tingle at every point of contact. the blush on jennie's cheeks that unavoidably showed up whenever jisoo gave her a compliment was still her favorite shade of pink (don't tell chaeyoung or the blinks). she still fell for jennie's gummy smile whenever she woke up in the morning, because, out of the more bothersome habits that jennie had acquired over the years, _by far_ the worst was her tendency to come into jisoo's room late at night, even after they had each gotten their own rooms, and talk until she fell asleep. she would inevitably cuddle into her at some point, leaving jisoo no choice other than to fall asleep with jennie in her arms (not that she was _complaining_ or anything but it definitely messed with her heart. a lot).

 

but through it all, through all the years of shattering her own heart, day in and day out, she never once regretted it. sure, sometimes it was hard, like when jennie would unintentionally do something frustratingly attractive, not realizing that jisoo was totally in love with her but she never wished she hadn't fallen in love with jennie.

 

sometimes, rarely, she would think about that. what if she hadn't fallen in love with jennie. sometimes, she wondered if that would change anything.

 

and other times, even more rarely, she would think about what if jennie would have fallen in love with her too.

 

but jisoo knew that she wasn't what jennie wanted.

 

jennie wanted boys who offered her their coats in the winter and blocked the sun from hitting her too much in the summer. jennie wanted boys who walked slowly for her when she wore heels and who listened carefully to what she has to say. she wanted guys who remembered what she said to them, boys who were hard-working and determined. she wanted guys who treated her like a princess and boys who would go to the ends of the world for her.

 

most importantly though, jennie wanted boys.

 

and no matter how much jisoo offered her arm when jennie was wearing heels or reminded her to dress warmer in the cold, held umbrellas over her head to protect her from the sunshine or how many late night conversations they'd have, as jisoo listened to absolutely everything she had to say, she couldn't be what jennie wanted.

 

she couldn't be jennie's.

 

<<<

 

"jisoo? hello?" jennie laughed good-naturedly as she sat up again. jisoo was shocked from her thoughts as jennie lightly dragged a finger across her jaw before flicking her on the forehead.

"are you still in there? where'd you go?" jennie asked again, more worriedly the second time. jisoo smiled fondly before answering.

"i'm okay." jennie looked skeptical but didn't press the issue.

 

maybe that was why jisoo was so in love. jennie always knew what she needed. she knew when she didn't need to press, when jisoo was just spacing out, getting too far stuck inside her head for her own good. she knew when jisoo was probably thinking about her next meal or what dalgomie's newest outfit should be and not something important. but she also knew when she needed to get something out of jisoo, when jisoo was hiding her pain.

 

jisoo never cried on stage. she never cried in front of chaeyoung or lisa (well, chaeyoung once, but that was under special circumstances). she never even cried in front of her siblings. the only person that had seen her cry, apart from her parents, was jennie kim. not because she made jisoo sad but because jennie had another bothersome habit of making jisoo vulnerable. maybe it was a testament to how close they were or to how much they trusted each other, maybe it was because there was no one else that jisoo would rather tell everything to or because that's what love does to a person but jennie could read her like an open book. even more so than that though, jisoo could never lie to her for long, no matter how much she tried.

 

well, except for about one thing. but jisoo effectively managed to lie to everyone (other than chaeyoung and including herself) about that for years, so that didn't really count.

 

<<<

 

chaeyoung had all of them figured out within a week of landing in korea.

 

honestly, it was rather impressive how quickly she had understood their group dynamic and figured out each of their personalities and secrets (not on purpose, of course, mostly because she was too observant for her own good). well, jisoo would have been more impressed if she wasn't too busy being shocked at the revelation that chaeyoung had decided to drop on her.

 

it had been just after another long day of practices as the girls fell into aroutine of coming back to their dorm, watching some tv and collapsing into bed to do it all over again. chaeyoung had only been in korea for a week, and living with them for half that, but she had already proven herself as both a powerhouse performer (although, her pronunciation could use a tiny bit of work as they soon learned after one of her more memorable slips of the tongue) but even more so, a trustworthy friend. that's why, as jennie peeled herself away from jisoo's side (where she was perpetually attached) and bid the remaining duo good night, chaeyoung raised an eyebrow. she aimed her gaze at jennie's retreating figure, more specifically at the hand that was just finally falling to her side after jisoo had held it until the last possible second.

 

jisoo knew what she was questioning. she knew that this exact situation occurred probably every night since chaeyoung had moved into their dorm and had been occurring every night for years. she knew that in approximately 2 minutes, jennie would call her name, in no less than 3 minutes, she would be in their room and in a maximum of 7 minutes, she'd be in their- no, jennie's bed, because while jennie kim was many things, patient was not one of them.

 

somewhere in her head, jisoo knew that she and jennie weren't "friends". they'd probably crossed that line on day three, after seeing each other naked (because seriously, who does that?)

 

but knowing things and _knowing_ things are completely different. so when park chaeyoung, in her tiny, innocent, 8pt font voice with her still-nervous korean, asked if she and jennie eonni were dating, jisoo had absolutely no idea what to do.

 

she vaguely remembered muttering a no and before she could say anything else, jennie had called her name, right on cue. she had excused herself, leaving behind a rather indifferent chaeyoung and entering a room with a completely normal jennie. everything else that night had occurred on routine as if chaeyoung hadn't just had the biggest bombshell on jisoo that she'd received in her life.

 

because, to chaeyoung, two girls dating was completely normal. it happened all the time (she was from an all-girls school after all, so the dating pool was rather limited). jennie and jisoo dating, to her, would be totally average, perfectly rational, utterly ordinary.

 

but to jisoo, it was a completely foreign concept. it wasn't like she didn't know gay people existed, seoul wasn't _that_ conservative but herself being one of them, that was something else entirely. her and jennie being gay wasn't the same thing as being "super best friends" that cuddled incessantly and had a habit of sleeping in the same bed. that wasn't the same as occasionally (or more than occasionally) seeing your "super-mega best friend" naked. that wasn't the same thing as maybe thinking about your "super-mega-ultra best friend's" abs (a lot) and sometimes wondering what her lips tasted like. it meant a lot of things, all of them far too serious to consider.

 

until now.

 

because now, she couldn't _not_ consider it. she couldn't _not_ remember all the times she had wanted to kiss jennie (which, in all fairness, was an astronomically large number when taken in context) or the number of times she stared during practice for way too long or why exactly she had hated that boy that jennie had a crush on last year so much (because he was a perfectly nice guy that was polite, talented and probably marginally attractive if anyone that wasn't jisoo was the judging panel).

 

she didn't sleep that night. she lay there, still, surrounded by jennie. surrounded by her sheets, her smell, quite literally her (because jennie's a _really_ clingy sleeper).

 

and she thought. she thought far too hard and for far too long until she was dangerously close to pushing herself into a panic. in any other situation, this would be the point when normally she'd wake up jennie. she would quickly assess the situation and hold jisoo for however long she needed, softly singing random english lullabies that she couldn't really understand (but that was probably for the better).

 

but that was the last thing she needed right now. the last thing she needed was jennie to confuse her more with her enticing scent and her soft smiles and her comforting arms encircling jisoo.

 

so, she had gently gotten out of jennie's grasp, woke up chaeyoung as quietly as possible (which wasn't easy given the fact that that girl was _loud_ when she was scared) and all but dragged her onto the roof of their dorm. an extremely tired, cold and disoriented chaeyoung had been met with a sobbing jisoo who promptly collapsed into her arms. to say that chaeyoung was confused would be an outrageous understatement.

 

they had stayed on the roof for hours, initially until jisoo calmed down enough to breathe without hyperventilating and then until chaeyoung felt satisfied that jisoo felt secure enough to stand on her own. after jisoo explained why she was crying though, chaeyoung had enveloped her in the biggest hug she could manage and tried to comfort her in rather broken korean (because while chaeyoung knew an okay amount of korean, "being gay is completely normal and you are absolutely okay" was not one of the phrases she had been taught). thankfully, somehow, jisoo had gotten the message. she was okay.

 

initally, she had tried to hide from jennie, to save herself by stopping herself from sitting by her at lunch and dinner and breakfast and on the couch an- (wow, were they ever not sitting by each other?)

 

that worked for a whole 4 hours, up until jennie had quite literally plopped herself into jisoo's lap during lunch and like always, jisoo caved again.

 

another rooftop conversation later, this one with significantly less crying and the helpful addition of google translate on chaeyoung's phone, jisoo found herself back in jennie's arms.

 

she still wasn't really ready to sleep yet but she felt okay. okay with herself and okay with the relationship that they had. maybe she didn't have a name for it, or her feelings quite yet but she was okay and jennie was okay.

 

eventually, she did fall asleep, waking up to the same gummy smile she was so used to.

 

maybe things were different in her head, but they weren't in life, and that's all that really mattered.

 

<<<

 

"hey! you never got to hear the full version of my solo stage for the show!" jennie cried, jumping up from the ground of their practice room and all but running to the speaker system. jisoo faked a groan in contradiction.

 

"but it was so nice and quiet-" she was cut off by jennie's backtrack starting as jennie rushed back to her.

 

"c'mon you dork," jennie teased as she offered a hand out to jisoo from her position on the floor. jisoo knew she was supposed to be singing during this part of the song (she might have watched a few more of jennie's rehearsals than she let on) but instead looked at jennie's hand in confusion. wasn't she supposed to be practicing the choreography?

"what?"

"dance with me," jennie replied, grabbing jisoo's hand and pulling her up as the instrumental introduction section of the mr finished. she had no choice but to accept jennie's invitation (it wasn't like she ever _wasn't_ going to but she would have liked the option) and clasp her hands around her waist, as jennie's fingers hand already interlaced behind her neck, her arms resting on her shoulders.

 

 

it was then that jisoo realized how absolutely, positively fucked she was.

 

 

because the girl she had been crushing on for the past six years was singing a song (and a romantic one she gathered from the words she could understand) _to_ her. and they were slow dancing. in a dimly lit room. late at night. and jennie looked heavenly (not that she didn't always but especially so in this light) with those words dripping off her lips and with that gaze that jisoo couldn't quite match, choosing instead to focus on their shoes.

 

yeah fucked pretty much summed it up.

 

 

 _you're just too good_ _to be true_

_i can't take my eyes off you_

 

 

jisoo could feel jennie looking at her. jisoo could always feel when jennie was looking at her, because nine times out of ten, jennie _was_ looking at her. it was never an uncomfortable feeling, in fact, it was the opposite. she was usually content knowing that jennie was checking on her, not just because she liked that jennie was watching her but also because she felt safe knowing she was looking out for her as well.

 

usually.

 

because, maybe the romantic lighting was messing with her head, or jennie's voice contaminating her brain but her stare looked different today, more needy, hungrier but still full of the same support as always. so jisoo looked away, afraid of what she saw, or thought she was seeing.

 

 

_you'd be like heaven to touch_

_i wanna hold you so much_

 

 

there'd always been a certain amount of electricity jisoo would feel at every point of contact with jennie. it wasn't a shock, per se, but more of a continuous buzz, a steady hum throughout her whole body, centered at the places that jennie touched her. and jennie was constantly touching her. not in a weird way, but in a reassuring way. jisoo had gotten so used to it by now that walking anywhere without it felt empty.

 

airports don't scare most people but most people also don't have to deal with running, screaming crowds of people after 10+ hour flights. neither of them liked it, and neither of them were particularly good at handling the stress but jisoo knew that having jennie by her side made it 100x easier for both of them. that's probably why jennie quite literally wouldn't let her more than 50 cm away at all times, not that she minded.

 

except right now. right now, she minded very much. because jennie's fingers were lacing themselves into her hair, toying with the pieces at the base of her skull in a way that probably wasn't intended to turn her on but definitely was. not to mention their current general proximity and the fact that each time they swayed, she could unmistakably feel jennie's hips on hers and with each word she sang, she could feel jennie's breath on her neck as she gazed down which  _definitely_  wasn't helping the overall situation.

 

 

_at long last love has arrived_

_and i thank god i'm alive_

_you're just too good to be true_

_can't take my eyes off you_

 

 

at some point, jisoo forced herself to look up at jennie. well, really, she never had to force herself to look at jennie. honestly, she naturally just gravitated there, she more often had to fight herself _from_ looking at jennie. but like always, she caved and tilted her head up, raising her eyes to match the gaze that always seemed to be there. as she did, jennie reached the final chorus of her song, staring straight into jisoo's eyes with an unreadable expression.

 

jisoo didn't know every word she was singing but she got the general gist of it, causing her to blush again and duck her head. jennie laughed, abandoning the final adlibs in favor of smiling down at the girl hiding in her shoulder. as she did though, the mr ended, and the track started again. jennie, however, didn't move to stop it or change the song, staying as connected to jisoo as she always seemed to be before pressing a kiss behind jisoo's ear.

 

 

 

suddenly, it all became too much; the lighting, the proximity, the singing, all of it combined and jisoo detached herself from jennie, startling her. jennie didn't have much time to be confused though, because as soon as jisoo broke apart from her, she also ran out of the practice room.

 

 

 

jisoo ran because she needed space. because the closeness was becoming too much. jennie's hands in her hair felt all too comfortable, the curve of her collarbone all too familiar.

 

she ran because she was confused. because, after years, _years_ , of crushing on one girl, falling in love with her over and over, day in and day out, maybe, _just maybe_ , in that moment, it seemed like jennie liked her back.

 

because jisoo wasn't an idiot. she wasn't clueless. she and jennie weren't "friends". she knew that and she knew that jennie knew that. but knowing things and _knowing_ things are absolutely, utterly and totally different.

 

jisoo ran because she was scared. because as the last words of jennie's song graced her ears, she saw everything she ever wanted. she saw jennie in a white dress, her blinding smile matching it. she saw her family, proud of her, as the most gorgeous girl she'd ever seen shyly strolled down the aisle towards her. she saw lisa elbowing her in the side as she froze, staring when jennie reached her. she saw chaeyoung giving a speech and the embarrassed blush on jennie's face as chaeyoung detailed the many years it took them to get together. she saw the look of shock on jennie's face when jisoo evitably smeared icing from their cake on her face, and the equally inevitable chaos it would cause as lisa would try spreading icing on chaeyoung's face too. she imagined the sound of their first song, them slow dancing together at _their_ wedding. she saw the joy in jennie's eyes, as they swayed back and forth.

 

it looked the exact same as jennie's eyes in that moment, in that practice room.

 

she ran because, in jennie's eyes, all she could see was a future that could never happen. in jennie's words, all she could hear was a dream that would never come true. on jennie's lips, all she could read was a fantasy.

 

and that fucking terrified her.

 

 

 

so jisoo ran, as fast as she could.

 

she ran wherever her legs would take her.

 

she ran anywhere that wasn't there.

 

 

 

<<<

 

 

 

unsurprisingly, jisoo didn't get far.

 

maybe that was because life is cyclical, in some ways.

 

lisa had met jennie in the same way that jennie had met jisoo, a dark practice room full of unfamiliar faces. jennie, though, hadn't been able to help lisa back then because she too was still a newbie, not unlike lisa herself. jisoo had also learned of lisa and chaeyoung's lack of romantic relationship in the same way that chaeyoung had asked about her and jennie's, all too nonchalantly asking lisa and suffering the consequences of several nights of lisa's rants and crying sessions. in jisoo's experience, situations tended to repeat themselves, for better or for worse. maybe it was an error in the universe's laws, a rift in the galaxy's code.

 

or maybe, maybe, life repeats itself until you get it right, until you get the right answer or do the right thing.

 

maybe that's why jisoo ran to the roof. maybe the universe was trying to tell her something.

 

or maybe the elevator was too slow and the stairs seemed like a better escape option.

 

regardless though, her escape plan didn't work, as seconds after jisoo closed the roof's door, it slammed open, revealing a heavily panting jennie kim. her eyes scanned the roof, finally pinpointing jisoo, sitting in the center of the concrete.

 

"fuck eonni, do you know how badly you scared me?" jennie jokingly called, a laugh quickly following. her giggled died the instant she saw jisoo though, crouching on the ground. she rushed to her side, immediately wrapping her in a hug that was so frequent between them.

 

"so, what i'm getting from this, and correct me if i'm wrong, is that this isn't a sudden game of hide-and-seek," jennie tried, searching jisoo's face for a smile.

 

it didn't come, as jisoo stayed huddled, her face buried into her knees that were pulled close to her chest.

 

"eonni, you're scaring me," came jennie's soft reply after detaching herself from jisoo's side, walking around to jisoo's front, crouching to her eye level. "what did i do?" she whispered, partially to jisoo and partially to herself. at that, jisoo pulled her head up, her gaze matching jennie's impossibly broken one.

 

"nothing, you're fine," jisoo mumbled as she looked away, to the sun dipping into the horizon, at the building dotting the skyline, at anything that wasn't jennie kim.

 

because she could never lie to jennie kim about anything, and apparently now, this included about _that._

 

"really?" jennie's reply was much louder than jisoo had expected, startling her into looking back at jennie, who had stood up sharply and began walking away from her. "you really expect me to believe that? you expect me to believe that you didn't just storm out of the room, sprint up four flights of stairs and practically cause yourself a panic attack about 'nothing?' goddamnit jisoo, i'm supposed to be your best friend for fuck's sake!" she yelled across the rooftop, dropping formalities for the first time in her life.

 

" _supposed,_ " jisoo muttered under her breath.

 

"what was that?" jennie questioned, pivoting on her heel and walking straight back to jisoo.

 

"nothing," jisoo started, more out of reflex than anything else.

 

"really? again?" jennie fumed, stalking towards her, causing jisoo to stand, her arms locked over her chest.

 

"do you really want to know why i'm so upset?" jisoo challenged, stepping up until she was inches away from jennie's face.

 

"you know what? yes, actually! i'd really like to know why my best friend the world, the person i rely on most in the universe, the person i trust more than anyone, myself included, can't tell me why she's fucking upset," jennie snapped, her arms waving wildly.

 

"you wanna know why? it's because i've been in love with you for the past six fucking years, you dumbass! it's because you keep _acting_ like my girlfriend and kissing me and singing romantic songs to me and playing with my heart then you go and call me your 'best friend' and i can't take it anymore because you've hugged me for at least upwards of a week, held my hand for more days than there are in a year and kissed my neck more times than i'd like to count, and i can't fucking take it anymore," jisoo practically shouted, ignoring the shocked look on jennie's face and pressing on.

 

you'd think that it would be harder to say, after avoiding this exact conversation for six years but all jisoo felt was relief. relief that she could finally tell the truth, relief that she could stop lying to jennie, and even more, herself.

 

"jennie kim, i'm in love with you, i'm _so fucking_ in love with you and fuck if i haven't tried to ignore it or pretend like i wasn't but i am, _i so fucking am_ , and i can't change that. i'm so in love with the way your eyes light up when you see a dumb video of a puppy and i'm _so_ in love with the smile you have when you see a little kid on the street. i adore the way you take care of our fans and the amount of effort you put into every performance for them and i wouldn't change it for the world even if i could because i wouldn't have it any other way. but i know you don't feel the same." jisoo suddenly quieted, her eyes dropping from jennie's shocked gaze that had remained unchanged for the entirety of her impromptu speech. all of jisoo's new-found courage seemed to leave her at that, the words that followed coming out much softer and less assured.

 

"so, yeah, that's why i've seemed kinda stressed. because you're stunningly gorgeous and have an adorably annoying habit of singing me romantic songs late at night when the sun is setting and i'm not thinking straight and i guess today i just couldn't pretend that i don't want to kiss you anymore. but i know you don't like me back, so if you'd just let me go back to the dorm, you can forget that this entire conversation happened," jisoo quickly finished, beginning her escape to the doorway on the other end of the rooftop.

 

again though, jisoo didn't get very far.

 

this time though, it was a hand on her wrist spinning her around, then a set of hands snaking around her waist, pulling her close and pair of impossibly soft lips, meeting her own.

 

she would this story (just the kissing part, because the rest of it was kind of embarrassing) a week later to lisa and chaeyoung, who had stumbled upon the couple kissing in the kitchen (because jennie's  _hot_ when she's cooking and they had a lot of lost time to make up for), forcing an explanation. lisa claimed she always figured it was going to happen and demanded to know who kissed who first (to which jennie proudly said herself, eliciting a high five) while chaeyoung just smiled and whispered an 'i told you so'.

 

after so many years of imagining her first kiss with jennie, she had expected fireworks and explosions, loud noises and an electric spark.

 

instead though, kissing jennie felt like coming home. rather than lighting, she felt a warm comfort across her skin. it wasn't like the buzzing of when they touched but kissing jennie felt inevitable, like a warm fire on a cold night or puzzle pieces finally finding each other.

 

lisa had rolled her eyes when jisoo said that and groaned while chaeyoung had elbowed her and awwed along with jennie, who had kissed jisoo again, causing even more complaining from lisa.

 

jisoo had just told her to shut up.

 

she and jennie had a lot of lost time to make up for.

 

 

 

<<<

 

 

 

years later, chaeyoung picked up one of the dozens of stacks of papers in a failed attempt at organizing the wedding plans that had exploded all over the dinner table.

 

"eonni, you realize that i still have to eat on this, right?" chaeyoung had complained, still digging through papers, trying to find the table that as supposedly under the sea of notes.

 

"chaeyoungie, you realize that you don't live here anymore right? you can eat at your own apartment?" jisoo had called from a chair on the other side of a stack of paper that was almost as tall as her.

 

"lisa's last dance class of the night doesn't end for another hour-and-a-half, so i can't make dinner for a while," chaeyoung had replied nonchalantly, sorting through another magazine stack, luckily missing the glance that jisoo and jennie shared. they had always been able to communicate through their eyes, and now was no different, even when they were complaining about their former maknae's thick-headedness and inability to ask out the girl that she was so obviously in love with.

 

"they're apparently calling it _the wedding of the century_ , so, yeah, there have to be a lot of papers," jennie eventually replied, walking behind a sighing jisoo, resting her chin on the crown of her fiancé's head as jisoo collapsed into the pile of papers, making jennie giggle.

 

"well, it's not every day that the former members of a girl group turned actresses / fashion designers get married, i guess?" chaeyoung mumbled as she sorted another pile of swatches.

 

"can't we just elope?" came a muffled grunt from the papers, eliciting an immediate squeal from chaeyoung.

 

"no! you promised i could sing the song for your first dance!" she whined, making both jisoo and jennie sigh as the latter plopped herself into jisoo's lap, and instantly buried her face into her shoulder.

 

"you could sing it at the courthouse," came the stifled response, causing jisoo to smile fondly. chaeyoung just rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she got up from the table.

 

"why'd you guys pick _can't take my eyes off of you,_ anyway?" she asked, as the group moved towards the door.

 

jisoo and jennie paused and looked at each other.

 

in jennie's eyes, jisoo could still see the same future that she had envisioned on that day in june, although now, it was all the more real. the venue was more accurate (having already been booked), the other guests were already assigned and her own outfit was already set (she wasn't allowed to see jennie's yet, although chaeyoung assured her that it was beautiful, to which she had responded that anything that jennie wore would be beautiful, causing lisa to groan and jennie to kiss her, like always). she had been assured that chaeyoung's speech was prepared and that her parents would be in the front row, right beside jennie's mother, and eventually after a trip down the aisle, her father too. now, she knew what color the drapes would be (ivory? cream? all of them looked the same to her but jennie had chosen and honestly, she couldn't care less), and who would be carrying their rings (one of her nephews, because as much as lisa had wanted to be their "ring bear" they had explained that not only was it a ring _bearer_ but that she was far too old for the job).

 

but through all of the changes, the important stuff had stayed the same. jennie's smile while walking down the aisle from her dream had never once changed, and the even bigger one that had accompanied their first dance had never dissipated from her imagination. the song that now complimented her vision hadn't changed from that night in june.

 

 

 

life is cyclical, jisoo figured.

 

the song that started their first chapter together should start all the chapters that followed.

 

maybe, life repeats itself until you get it right.

 

and if kim jisoo was sure of anything on the world, it was that jennie kim was everything right for her.

 

 

 

_oh pretty baby, now that i've found you stay_

_and let me love you, baby, let me love you_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> so this also ended up being very long. don't expect this to be a trend guys, i'm not capable of writing many long pieces like this but i really wanted to get something out for y'all on valentine's day.
> 
> this does take place in the same universe? as my chaelisa oneshot "a billion stars" so, yeah, if you read that, this might make more sense. or less, i'm not really sure.
> 
> i'm really tired right now so i'm going to bed but i hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> i promise i'll write some actual fluff soon but apparently, i'm a sucker for angst right now so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


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